To Set Myself Straight...
Curtis' mom is becoming a royal pain. She was apparently 90 pounds of holy terror in the hospital, to the point where they had to tie her down. The first night she was there, the phone rang shortly after we went to bed; the staff asked Curtis to come over and try to calm her down. He went, had no effect and they ended up having to drug and restrain her. The last night she was there she called after midnight and demanded he come get her out. (There was a bit of a blizzard raging at the time) Then she called in the morning and left a snide message about how he double crossed her.
She is checked in now at the medical center of her residential facility to be evaluated as to whether she can return to her independent living or whether she will need a greater level of care. She is much more rational now that she is not in the hospital, but it's almost like waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I'm having hard feelings, and this makes me feel awful! I keep reminding myself that she and Curtis' dad GAVE us the money for the downpayment of our first home -- an outright gift. That she drove me around in my last month of pregnancy when I had such a hard time carrying a huge baby, my own 300+ pounds and was dealing with toxemia and gestational diabetes. That when the kids were little and we couldn't always get out, she would always bring us a spaghetti dinner to go whenever they went to our favorite spaghetti place. Of all the innumerable kindnesses she poured on my family and me over the years! And of her unselfish devotion to her own son, my husband, during his childhood. And how she nursed her husband in their home during his final days, allowing him to die at home in his own bed.
This mean woman we see at times is not my mother-in-law! This is the horrible disease of dementia. It wears her face and speaks with her voice, but it's not her.
In my work, we refer caregivers to people like my mother-in-law -- the elderly who need assistance their families cannot provide. Now I know first hand what our clients' families live with. Man, what a devastating disease!
I hoped maybe typing this out would help me sort it out in my mind. I want to give her -- and my husband, her son -- the same loving support she has given us over the years. The hard feelings have to go!!
I didn't sleep well last night. Too much stuff going through my mind. Sometimes in the wee hours it feels that the world is just closing in! Imagine that very normal middle-of-the-night feeling when you are afflicted with dementia! No wonder they had to tie her down...
This morning I did my "active rest" workout -- a fun Latin dance routine followed by a great 15 minute stretch segment. This week's rotation will feature aerobic/toning mix, a long dance routine, my newest step workout and probably some Turbo Jam somewhere along the line. I haven't narrowed down the Thursday and Saturday workouts yet. Planning is always part of the fun!
She is checked in now at the medical center of her residential facility to be evaluated as to whether she can return to her independent living or whether she will need a greater level of care. She is much more rational now that she is not in the hospital, but it's almost like waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I'm having hard feelings, and this makes me feel awful! I keep reminding myself that she and Curtis' dad GAVE us the money for the downpayment of our first home -- an outright gift. That she drove me around in my last month of pregnancy when I had such a hard time carrying a huge baby, my own 300+ pounds and was dealing with toxemia and gestational diabetes. That when the kids were little and we couldn't always get out, she would always bring us a spaghetti dinner to go whenever they went to our favorite spaghetti place. Of all the innumerable kindnesses she poured on my family and me over the years! And of her unselfish devotion to her own son, my husband, during his childhood. And how she nursed her husband in their home during his final days, allowing him to die at home in his own bed.
This mean woman we see at times is not my mother-in-law! This is the horrible disease of dementia. It wears her face and speaks with her voice, but it's not her.
In my work, we refer caregivers to people like my mother-in-law -- the elderly who need assistance their families cannot provide. Now I know first hand what our clients' families live with. Man, what a devastating disease!
I hoped maybe typing this out would help me sort it out in my mind. I want to give her -- and my husband, her son -- the same loving support she has given us over the years. The hard feelings have to go!!
I didn't sleep well last night. Too much stuff going through my mind. Sometimes in the wee hours it feels that the world is just closing in! Imagine that very normal middle-of-the-night feeling when you are afflicted with dementia! No wonder they had to tie her down...
This morning I did my "active rest" workout -- a fun Latin dance routine followed by a great 15 minute stretch segment. This week's rotation will feature aerobic/toning mix, a long dance routine, my newest step workout and probably some Turbo Jam somewhere along the line. I haven't narrowed down the Thursday and Saturday workouts yet. Planning is always part of the fun!
posted by Judy W. @ 4:26 PM
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