Casting Out Demons
I am trying to break a bad habit. It's not important to say here what that habit is! It's been going on for over 6 years now, though, and I've tried off and on before to break it. There are times I have been successful -- for a short while. Then either I miss it and and seek it out again (just this once -- riiiiiiiight!!!) or it sort of "finds" me without my effort, and I fall back in.
I was reading in the Bible the other night. In the Book of Luke, Jesus talks about how a demon, once cast out, looks around for a new host. If he doesn't find one, he returns to the place he was cast out from, and, finding it swept clean, moves back in and takes over more forcefully than ever before. And it hit me like a brick!
It's not enough to just stop doing a bad behavior!! No, even self-destructive behaviors are feeding some kind of deep need. In order to REALLY break the bond, we must find another way to feed that need.
For example, I had WLS and it inhibited me in my overeating. I struggled with "head hunger" and for awhile, I "grazed", short-circuiting my weight loss. Eventually I took control and the pounds came off. How was I feeding the "inner hunger"? Well, I replaced the overeating with shopping for cute clothes and the adventure of experiencing things I could never do as an obese person. Later I added in exercise videos and workout clothes. I see that "acquisition" tends to be a theme in my life. This particular habit I'm working on now is yet another aspect of the need to HAVE.
It's not even that this thing fully feeds that inner hunger. No, rather it feeds some aspects of it in a way I've not approached before, but falls woefully short in all other areas. It's been more frustrating than satisfying. The "benefits" it gives me are not worth the cost -- the frustrations and more importantly the loss of my self-respect.
So the healthy acquisitions are the "keepers" and the self-destructive ones (the current one being the most urgent) are the ones that need to be replaced. It's not enough to just stop -- the hunger has to be fed! If it's not, then I'll find myself reaching out again in a few short days or weeks, or being tempted again and falling -- sooner or later.
What can I find -- something healthy and positive -- to refill the empty places? I know that the inner me can acquire fullness by giving instead of getting! When I worked with kids choir at church, I really got a lot of inner satisfaction. And playing the piano was another way of feeding the inner me.
So, now that the self-destructive behavior is on hiatus, I need to find a replacement. Something positive, that will make me feel good about myself. A couple of things come to mind to start with:
1. Returning to studying my Bible on my own. It feeds my soul and my brain.
2. Returning to my piano playing. That will be a little harder because of time constraints, but I'm going to give it a try.
I've done these things before, though. So I'm still desperately seeking something to fill that inner need -- before that demon comes back, finds a clean house and moves back in!
There you have it! A mission...
I was reading in the Bible the other night. In the Book of Luke, Jesus talks about how a demon, once cast out, looks around for a new host. If he doesn't find one, he returns to the place he was cast out from, and, finding it swept clean, moves back in and takes over more forcefully than ever before. And it hit me like a brick!
It's not enough to just stop doing a bad behavior!! No, even self-destructive behaviors are feeding some kind of deep need. In order to REALLY break the bond, we must find another way to feed that need.
For example, I had WLS and it inhibited me in my overeating. I struggled with "head hunger" and for awhile, I "grazed", short-circuiting my weight loss. Eventually I took control and the pounds came off. How was I feeding the "inner hunger"? Well, I replaced the overeating with shopping for cute clothes and the adventure of experiencing things I could never do as an obese person. Later I added in exercise videos and workout clothes. I see that "acquisition" tends to be a theme in my life. This particular habit I'm working on now is yet another aspect of the need to HAVE.
It's not even that this thing fully feeds that inner hunger. No, rather it feeds some aspects of it in a way I've not approached before, but falls woefully short in all other areas. It's been more frustrating than satisfying. The "benefits" it gives me are not worth the cost -- the frustrations and more importantly the loss of my self-respect.
So the healthy acquisitions are the "keepers" and the self-destructive ones (the current one being the most urgent) are the ones that need to be replaced. It's not enough to just stop -- the hunger has to be fed! If it's not, then I'll find myself reaching out again in a few short days or weeks, or being tempted again and falling -- sooner or later.
What can I find -- something healthy and positive -- to refill the empty places? I know that the inner me can acquire fullness by giving instead of getting! When I worked with kids choir at church, I really got a lot of inner satisfaction. And playing the piano was another way of feeding the inner me.
So, now that the self-destructive behavior is on hiatus, I need to find a replacement. Something positive, that will make me feel good about myself. A couple of things come to mind to start with:
1. Returning to studying my Bible on my own. It feeds my soul and my brain.
2. Returning to my piano playing. That will be a little harder because of time constraints, but I'm going to give it a try.
I've done these things before, though. So I'm still desperately seeking something to fill that inner need -- before that demon comes back, finds a clean house and moves back in!
There you have it! A mission...
posted by Judy W. @ 8:46 AM
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